


Not In The Mood

by Chuui



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist, Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: Awkward Sexual Situations, F/M, Sexual Humor
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-11-25
Updated: 2014-05-28
Packaged: 2018-01-02 15:32:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 9,261
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1058469
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chuui/pseuds/Chuui
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Riza Hawkeye was not in the mood, but that never stopped Roy Mustang from trying. Royai.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Not at Work

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot!

It was a seemingly normal day at the office; everyone had gone home except for the colonel and her. She was determined to actually finish all the paperwork before the due date and Roy refused to leave her there all alone, even though it still seemed that she was doing all the work by herself. He had been staring into the same document for 20 minutes now, his mind obviously elsewhere. She finally finished forging his signature on the last document and took a second to lean back into her chair and stretch her arms; all she wanted to do was climb into her bed and sleep for the rest of eternity.

It was when she had her arms way up in the air she felt his eyes on her like a wild animal eyeing their prey. She carefully lowered her arms refusing to meet his glare, she knew those eyes. Those were his bedroom eyes.

"Lieutenant, are you all finished for the night?" His eyes scanned over her completed pile of work.

"Yes sir, just heading home now."

She wanted to dart for her coat as fast and she could but she needed to act normal. As she got up he got up as well. She walked over to her coat; he walked over to the office door and locked it.

"Sir, I can't leave if you lock the door."

"That's because I don't want you to leave, lieutenant." Great, not this again, she thought to herself.

"With all due respect sir, it's getting late and I have no idea what you're talking about, so if you'd excuse me..." She knew that wasn't going to stop him but it was worth a try. Before she could open her mouth to protest anymore he grabbed her arm and pulled her into his chest, his lips on hers as he tried to take the clip out of her hair.

She simply stood awkwardly crushed against him, wide-eyed and not even making an attempt to kiss back. Finally he realized his actions were not being reciprocated and slowly eased her out of his grip.

"Sir, how many times have I told we can't do that in the office, it's completely unprofessional."

There it was, the puppy dog eyes, the pout, oh how she was familiar with that pout. "But Riizaaa, you know I've always wanted to do it in the office, besides it's late and there's barely anyone here, the door is locked, we are not going to get caught."

"Have you ever thought that I might be tired Roy? It's because of your expertise procrastination skills that we're stuck here until the wee hours of the night, I haven't had a day off in 6 months, would it be completely unrealistic for me to want to go home and sleep so I can actually be here on time for work tomorrow? Not like you would know anything about that."

"I'll let you be on top, I know how much you like that."

"Good night Roy." She walked to the door; she decided it was best to leave now, before she gave into those damn puppy dog eyes of his.

"Wait, at least let me walk you home!"

"Oh, you're not leaving yet Roy, you still haven't read through that document on your desk that seemed to be real intriguing for the past half an hour. What were you thinking about you couldn't even sign one document?"

"Well it involved my desk, your gun, those handcuffs I know you keep in your bottom left drawer..."

She left the office making sure the door closed with a satisfying slam.


	2. Not This Call Again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot!

Sometimes she didn't appreciate her sniper instincts that made her such a light sleeper.

It was about three in the morning when her phone started ringing. She made sure to always answer her phone; you never know what kind of danger anyone could be tangled up in at any time. Tonight she was feeling extra sleepy but she dragged her feet across the floor to the phone despite her eyes barely opening. This better be something worthwhile, she thought to herself.

"Helloooo Elizabeth!" The voice on the other side announced in sing-song. She inwardly groaned and almost slammed the phone right back down on the receiver right at that moment.

"Colonel, what do you want?" It sure as hell didn't sound important but she decided to make sure he wasn't drunk enough to pass out in the phone booth again.

"Ahh, Elizabeth you sound so glum! I actually had something really important to ask you." She could clearly hear him slur his words this time; he definitely had been drinking a lot if it was already at this stage. He could usually keep from slurring even after a few drinks.

"Sir, if you can't remember where your house is again I'd be happy to come help you locate it." She was nowhere near happy but this had become such a common occurrence she decided it was part of her duty as his aide.

"On the contrary pretty lady, I'm actually sitting at home right now." This was new, if he was already at home why did he feel the need to call her?

"Ok sir, what was so important that you had to call and ask me at three in the morning?" She almost started to worry at this point, he didn't sound like he had anything important to tell her but she could never be sure.

"What are you wearing?"

Great, just great, he was in one of those moods. All she had on her mind at that moment was going back to bed but she was sure if she hung up right there and then he was going to continue to call her all night until the alcohol got the better of him and he passed out.

"My pyjamas." She deadpanned.

"What are you wearing underneath your pyjamas?" She swore she could see the smirk on his face through the phone.

"I'm wearing underwear sir, as most people do."

"What kind of underwear?"

"Sir these questions are highly inappropriate and I would like to go back to bed, if you don't mind..."

"Wait! Elizabeth, don't you want to know what I'm wearing?"

"No I don—"

"Okay good, because I'm actually not wearing anything!" She silently cursed her mind for trying to picture him naked on the other side, she was lucky he couldn't see the pink on her cheeks over the phone.

"Roy, I think it's about time you went to bed."

"Aww, but Elizabeth, I was just starting to have some fun, if you know what I mean."

"Roy. Bed. Now."

"Don't you want to know what kind of fun I'm having?"

"Roy."

"Alright alright, you're no fun Elizabeth!" She was glad he was a reasonably obedient drunk.

"Good night."

"Can I call you again tomorrow night?"

"No."

"Please?"

She slammed the phone down so hard it made her look like a hypocrite for every time she yelled at the colonel for doing the exact same thing.


	3. Not In a Hospital

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot!

She didn't quite realize how injured she was.

Her neck had been slit, so that's where the epicenter of pain was but it wasn't until she was lying in her hospital bed all bandaged up that all of her minor injuries started to ache. Everything felt sore, especially her lower back, it hurt just to move to a sitting position. The painkillers really weren't doing their job. She had suffered a handful of injuries in her lifetime but this had to be the worst of it. She would probably be lying in bed for at least another couple of weeks.

She glanced to her side. Roy was still lying there even though his injuries had not been as bad as hers. He was healing relatively quickly, he still had trouble moving his fingers and of course there was the fact that he couldn't see but she was still glad that he was alive and well. He agreed to let his sight be healed with the Philosopher's stone as soon as Havoc got here, but that wouldn't be for another day or so.

She shifted awkwardly in bed; there was no position that seemed to cause her no pain at all. She had barely slept for the past week and it was finally starting to get to her. She heard Roy shift in his own bed.

"Lieutenant, are you awake?"

She hadn't adjusted herself quietly enough. "Yes sir."

"Ah, I'm having trouble sleeping as well."

Silence filled the room until she heard the loud squeak from Roy's bed and tilted her eyes to the side far enough to see his figure standing up.

"Sir, you really shouldn't be getting up."

"Nonsense, I'm feeling in almost tip-top shape right now and—augh!" There was a crash followed by unintelligible curses being muttered from Roy's mouth.

"Who put that... thing there?!" he barked.

"Sir that was a stool and it's been there since we got here." He had been surprisingly good at sensing his surroundings thus far, somehow managing to know where she was at all times, even if she hadn't said anything. There was even one occasion in which he put his hand on hers and she didn't know how he knew where she placed it. Stools however, seemed to be more of a mystery to him.

After he finally stopped clutching his knee and the muttering subsided he continued, more cautiously this time, towards Hawkeye's bed.

He felt around on the surface before deciding it was safe to sit. "How are you feeling Hawkeye?"

"Could be better, sir." She decided to tilt her neck up to get a better look at his face, trying to ignore the apparent twinge in her neck as she did so.

He mindlessly started drawing tiny circles on her kneecap with his finger. "You know, I actually requested we stay in the same room and bed, there were so many soldiers coming in with worse injuries and I was worried that there would be a shortage... I guess they decided that we needed two beds instead. At least we got to share a room."

"I believe our current situation is for the best." Did he really request that? I hope the nurses didn't interpret that in the wrong way, this man really didn't use his brain sometimes. She cringed at the thought of sharing a bed with Mustang, his limbs casually colliding with hers in the middle of the night, causing her unwarranted pain.

"Well, since the nurse's aren't here, maybe I could just lie here, for a bit, perhaps I could help you... relax."

She hoped he could feel her glaring into his blank eyes. She tried to think of something to say to stop him but she couldn't think of anything before she felt him trying to lie down beside her. His fingers trailed up and down her body and tried to place a soft kiss against her cheek. He missed entirely and his lips ended up grazing the heavy gauze wrapped around her neck. She involuntarily took a sharp breath and he pulled away almost instantly.

"Are you okay?"

"Sir that was my neck, I happen to be injured there."

"Sorry, I thought... I mean I know-"

"I think it would be best if you slept in your own bed."

The expression on his face was a mixture of disappointment and grief that made her heart churn just a bit.

"Wait Riza, I promise I won't hurt you again, I have an idea!"

She almost thought she saw his eyes light up as he said this, and it made her feel uneasy right to her core, she was afraid to ask. "What's your idea sir?"

He quirked an eyebrow, "How about I make you feel so much pleasure that you forget about the pain?"

The expression on her face resembled one she gave the Elric's one time when they asked her how old she was. He obviously couldn't see her and he just stared at her with that stupid shit-eating grin on his face.

"Huh Riza, what do you say?" At this he felt around and tried to latch his hand around her chest, but not all of his fingers were bending the way he wanted them to and she could see his eyebrow furrow in frustration.

She obviously had to be clearer about her answer so she responded to his actions with a firm kick to the shin. Her body would probably be complaining in the morning but at this point she decided her venting took precedence.

"Ow, Riza! What the hell was that for?!"

She replied to that with another blow to his shin. Funny, it almost felt therapeutic. She decided that her painkillers were finally kicking in and making her mildly loopy, but she didn't care. She'd rather be a part-time sadist than let Roy have his way with her and possibly damage something permanently in the process.

"Okay Riza I get it, I'm going back to my bed!" He scrambled to his feet before she was able to get in another blow.

She hadn't even settled herself back in when she heard a familiar crash and curses flying freely from Roy's mouth.

_"Who put this stool here?!"_


	4. Not On The Table

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dislcaimer: I own nothing but the plot!

Riza sat on a wooden chair in her kitchen.  Roy sat on the floor next to her.  Riza was not upset, nor angry.  She was way beyond either of those emotions, she was enraged.

She kept her cool though, she was never one to lash out with emotion.  She found that her calm anger almost seemed to scare people more.  You could tell simply by the quiet tone of her voice that she was angered beyond belief.

“Roy, what did I tell you about the table?”

Roy audibly gulped from his spot on the floor next to her.  He was one of the only ones who were not particularly afraid of angering her, heck he usually found it as a reason to tease her and rile her up even more.  He knew by the tone of her voice just how angry she was, and the tone she was using with him right now meant that it was best for him to stay on her good side and possibly not get his skull pumped full of lead.

“That it couldn’t handle the weight of both of us on top of it?”

Riza shifted uncomfortably in the chair.  She eyed her kitchen table collapsed in front of them.

“And what did you do anyway, _Roy_?”

He would usually be happy to hear her call him by his first name, but the way she kept saying it made him feel like he was six again, being scolded by his mother.

“I got onto the table anyways?”

Roy didn’t mean to ignore her warning.  Simply leaning over the table hadn’t been doing it for him so he had started to climb on top so he could straddle her correctly.  He thought he heard her murmur something.  He wasn’t sure if the lust had clogged up his ears, but he was kind of lost in the moment when he heard a loud _crack!_

“Are you asking me a question Roy?”

She had told Roy; do not get on the table.  Did he listen? No.  Just as she thought, the table had collapsed right underneath them which caused her to plummet into the ground.  The excruciating pain she felt in that moment could not be put into words.  She had just been admitted from the hospital two weeks ago and doctor had told her that she should still be resting for another month.  Of course,   she was planning to do just as the doctor ordered as she had to be in fit condition to travel to Ishval to start the restoration efforts.  Roy also decided to take a bit of a holiday for a month as he decided there was no point in getting started without her, besides he had been so happy after he got his vision back he told her that he never wanted to let her out of his sights again.  So that’s how he ended up staying at her apartment.    The military was still trying to recover and rebuild from the Promised Day as well, so many happenings were being overlooked and nobody questioned the fact of them temporarily living together was for any other purpose other than to make sure her recovery goes smoothly.  Roy however, was not a man who could easily keep his hands to himself, especially in the current situation where it had literally been weeks since he’s seen her and months since he touched her.  She had given him one golden rule as to this aspect, _be careful._

“Aw please Riza don’t be upset, I can fix your table with alchemy in a snap! Actually a clap... you get what I mean.”

The table hadn’t looked _that_ flimsy.  He could barely recall questioning the integrity of the table but he was sure it must’ve crossed his mind for a split second.  They had just finished dinner and he was helping her wash the dishes.  She had that apron on, damn that apron.  Whenever she wore it all he could imagine what she would’ve looked like wearing nothing _but_ that apron.  He couldn’t evacuate those thoughts from his mind quickly enough before he had her pressed up against the edge of the table in a passionate kiss.  One thing lead to another and clothes flew in every which way and she was sitting on the edge of the table.  Honestly, he hadn’t even thought of doing _that_ in the kitchen before and he thought it was a nice change from the bedroom.  Riza had been very confused until he started taking her clothes off and she decided to just go along with it as well.  He had been very compliant with the golden rule thus far, but today he just happened to take it a bit too far...

“Is that so Roy?  I suppose you’ll be able to heal my aching body parts with your alchemy too? Is that right?”

Riza had landed with a thud her back slamming against the hard table now knocked of all four legs.  This would have been enough pain to deal with, but then there was Roy on top of her.  He landed on top of her, his huge mass crushing her completely under his weight combined with the force from the fall.  She had all the wind knocked out of her and she thought she saw stars.  She finally was able to get a hold of herself and manage to shove Roy off of her.  That’s when she tried to get up but failed miserable and she laid back down, her back in searing pain.  At this point Roy had come back down from the ecstasy cloud he was drifting on and lifted her onto the chair before seating himself down on the floor next to her.

“Listen I’m sorry Riza, I got carried away, I’m an idiot.  We just need to take another little trip back to the doctor...” All Roy was hoping for at this point was to escape with is life.

“And what am I going to tell the doctor? Oh, I know you told me to take it easy for a month but I really couldn’t stop myself from having sex with my superior officer on my kitchen table and ended up crushing every bone in my body?”

Roy almost blushed at her blatant comments, “I’m sure you’ll recover Riza, you’ve been through much worse than this, besides, and he’ll probably give you even more vacation time!” 

“Roy, if I do get any more vacation time I can assure you that you are not getting any of this, _ever._ ”

If there was one thing that Roy Mustang was sure of in that moment, it was that he was never having sex in the kitchen ever again.


	5. Not This Year

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot!

It was that time of year again.

All of Mustang’s subordinates watched in awe as he dutifully did his paperwork.  Not a single complaint, not a single break, just his pen working away at the papers for the past four hours.  Usually by this time of the day he would be doing anything but his paperwork.  It never ceased to amaze them every year. It had become a bit of a tradition.  That one day in mid-August that Roy Mustang actually did his paperwork without complaint, the very next day slipping back into his old routines.

There had been long discussions amongst the gang, theorizing on this yearly phenomenon and what was so special about this specific day.  Falman had suggested that perhaps he had a special meeting to attend on this day every year so he needed to finish everything as early as possible so he could leave, but that idea was shot down due to the fact that he seemed to spend the same amount of time if not longer on this day doing his paperwork.  Fuery thought he wanted to show Hawkeye that he had the potential to work hard but simply chose not to, but they all agreed that would probably make her angrier rather than more compassionate.  Breda contributed the idea that his body was taken over by an outside force that actually liked to do paperwork, this was rejected immediately for obvious reasons.  Havoc, with no ideas of his own suggested that perhaps they should ask Hawkeye, she never seemed confused by his actions every year.  She always seemed rather happy, well the colonel was actually was actually doing his work, of course she would be happy on these days, but there was something else...

“Hawkeye?” Havoc walked over to her.

“Yes lieutenant?” She didn’t even glance up from the paper she was reading.

“Did you ever notice that on this day every year the boss actually does his paperwork, don’t you find that unusual?”

“Why should I find it unusual if he’s doing what he’s supposed to be doing?”

“Oh come on, you know he is always procrastinating.  Something has got to be up.”

That’s when he saw it, the faintest hint of a smirk crawl onto her face.  He almost thought he had imagined it, as it disappeared almost as quickly as it appeared.  She knew something, he was sure of it.

“I’d suggest you just be happy he’s actually being productive and let it go Havoc.”

* * *

 

Roy stared at the papers in front of him, examining each one as if they contained all the secrets of the universe and he didn’t want to miss a single detail.  It was that time of year again, the anniversary of when he and Riza first met.

He was almost certain she was joking when she told him that she snuck an invitation for casual sex into his paperwork on this day each year, he just never found it.  There was absolutely no way she would do that, or so he thought.  A year passed and that fateful day came around and he was curious, extremely curious.  For the first time in his entire military career he sat down and did all his paperwork, from start to finish. 

He found nothing.

Now he could rest in peace, it was just a joke, Hawkeye would never actually do that, it was stupid to even that that she would!  That was until the very next day, she spoke to him as he was leaving the office.

“I see you did all your paperwork yesterday, sir.”

“Yeah, I guess I was feeling rather motivated yesterday.”

“So, you didn’t find my note then.”

“No I—wait what, your note?”

“If you took the first word on each page you signed me message would have been clear.  I guess you didn’t look hard enough sir.”  With this she left him standing there, in shock, as she casually walked out the door.

After a few moments he caught himself, and ran at full speed down to the collections office to see if he could get his paperwork back.  He had to know, was she bluffing again or did she really...

After a word with the rather unimpressed lady in the office preparing to leave herself, he got a hold of the documents and laid them out in front of him, examining the places she mentioned.

_Please.  Come.  By.  My.  Place.  Immediately._

Unbelievable. 

* * *

 

The next year, he knew what to do.  He did all his paperwork, lined up the pages and considered the words.

_Excuse.  Attention.  The.  Damages.  If._

What?  This wasn’t right.  Where was the secret message?  These were the first words... there was supposed to...

The answer came to him the next day, in a very similar situation; he and Hawkeye were leaving for the night as she spoke to him.

“I guess you didn’t find my note this year either.”

“I didn’t see any note this year, I don’t understand...”

“Sir, I can’t put it in the same place every year.  This time, you should’ve checked the unsigned pages.”  With that, her stroll out of the office mocked him as he pondered what an idiot he was.  Of course she wouldn’t hide it in the same place every year.  This was a challenge.

A challenge he was willing to accept.

* * *

 

It became a yearly event from that point on, every year Riza would think of some place clever to hide a note and Roy would always try his best to find it.  He had never been successful, bested by her wits year after year.  He argued that some of them were completely unfair, such as the year she stuck a sticky note on the underside of his desk.  He argued that it wasn’t even incorporated into his paperwork, and why would he even have a reason to look under his desk.  She simply mentioned that this game had no rules and that was probably one of the easiest to find hiding spots she had used in years.

There was also a year where she used words from the bottom and tops of pages alternating, which Roy told her it was now getting completely ridiculous and that there was no way he would ever figure out something as intricate as that.  She simply asked him if that was the case, she should just with the notes altogether.  This made him drop that line of questioning very quickly.

He was determined this year, he told himself _this was the year,_ and he was going to find it.

* * *

 

It was now after 11PM and everyone had left the office but him.  He was still slaving over the papers before him.  He had checked every combination of words he could think of and did a thorough search of the entire room and everything in it and he had come up with nothing.  Looks like this year wasn’t his year either, disappointed he went to go leave his papers in the collection box outside the office so they would get it in the morning when the secretary came in.  As he was about to hand them in he noticed a piece of paper stuck to the bottom of his office’s box.  It was a note, it was _the note._

_Sir, I hope you haven’t been looking at those papers all night.  Perhaps you should drop by my place so I can help you relax after all that hard work._

_Damn it_ was the first thought that crossed his mind.  This was by far the easiest note location she had ever used, considering he actually found it.  This either meant that she felt sorry for him or that she really wanted him to come over tonight, and all he had to do was hand in his paperwork!

That’s when he started to worry; he had to get there before midnight for it to still be considered their anniversary.  He checked his pocket watch, 11:30.  He had time, he could make it if he drove but it was going to be close.

He was lucky it was so late at night because he was driving so recklessly that he honestly feared for anyone driving or walking on the same road.  Ten minutes to midnight, he was going to make it.

Five minutes left, he pulls up at her front door.

Four minutes left, he’s getting in the elevator.

Three minutes left, turn out the elevator is broken so boots it up the stairs.

Two minutes left, half way up the stairs he misses and step and falls flat on his face, cursing so loudly he probably woke up half the people on the floor.

One minute left and he’s half limping up the rest of the stairs.

Midnight.

“Hawkeye!  Hawkeye it’s me! Open up!”  He was out of breath and banging on her door, and his leg was still in pain.

Riza opened her door in her pyjamas, a cup of hot cocoa in her hand, looking as if she hadn’t a care in the world.

“Sir, are you alright?”  He could hear the slight edge of mischief in her voice.

“I... found... your... note...”  This was all he could say, he hadn’t really thought about what he would do when he got there and he wished he did.

“Ah. Looks like you did.”  She nonchalantly took a sip of her cocoa.

“So... can I come in?”

“It was a minute past midnight when you got here, thus making my offer null and void.” She deadpanned.

“W-what, but Hawkeye-“

She retreated back into her home and right before she closed to the door she simply said,

“I’m sorry sir, maybe next year.”


	6. Not This Time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot!

Roy breathed in slowly as the darkness sheathed his vision once more. As much as he was handicapped when he had been blind for a short period of time he learned to use all of his other senses with heightened ability. He could smell and identify the hospital food as soon as the nurse lifted the cover, he could taste the strong perfume lingering in the air when his foster mother came to visit, he could hear every time the wind shifted directions at odd hours of the night, and of course he could feel the sparks flying up and down his skin whenever Riza touched him.

That's why he had suggested the blindfold.

It was only one in the afternoon but Roy had somehow found himself naked, blindfolded, and handcuffed to Riza's bed.

Riza's hands were racing up and down his body, causing him to twitch and shudder from the unexpected touches. The thrill of not knowing what she was going to next was driving him mad.

"Roy, stop squirming so much. If you keep moving I might have to handcuff your legs down as well."

"Sorry, I only was able to bring one pair. However if you do want another I'm sure the military doesn't need that many, plus if we had two sets that would be double the amount of fun things we could do with them."

"Mmm, is that so?" Her hands were approaching dangerously close to his nether regions and he was losing the will to talk without stumbling over every word.

"Ahh, Riza please stop teasing..." Her hands made a turn and went back down his thigh.

"Okay Roy, stay still and stop talking," She put her lips against his ear and whispered, "If you're naughty and don't listen I'll have to stop. You don't want that, now do you?" Her hot breath tickled his skin as her tongue left a small trail from his ear down his neck. He was so turned on he bit down on his lip to stop himself from groaning. He absolutely loved when Riza was in one of these moods.

He felt her sit down against his thighs, skin touching skin, when had she taken off her pants? As slowly as humanly possible she ran one finger up his length. "Gnngh, Riza..."

Her finger stopped and moved to his mouth. "I told you not to speak Roy."

He nodded an apology as she returned her attention to his lower half. This time she used all of her fingers to caress him and he was sure his lip was now bleeding from how hard he bit down on it to keep himself from making any noise. He was sure she was smirking, he knew she liked to torment and control him like this. He felt his hips start twitching by themselves once more and she held them down firmly. "Don't move."

She spoke as if it was easy to keep quiet and still when she was doing all these enticing things to him. He tried to take out all the pent up lust on pulling down on the handcuffs as hard as he could without breaking the headboard, he decided after a short while it was a probably a bad idea considering the structural integrity of other objects in Riza's home couldn't take his weight either, he didn't want to be responsible for breaking the mood by ripping her bed apart. All of the warmth he felt inside was making him go nuts. Riza's hands started working faster and more vigorously until he was suddenly met by something wet trailing up the side of his arousal and then engulfing the tip in warmth. That was when he could no longer hold back, his hips jerking upwards involuntarily and whimpers escaping from his throat.

Riza obviously unenthused about his movement immediately stopped everything she was doing and climbed off of him. " _Roy_ , I told you if you move or make noise I have to stop." She sounded genuinely displeased but he knew she couldn't stop herself now.

"Yeah yeah I know, I've been naughty, I think that warrants some sort of punishment don't you think?" He flashed a smirk in the direction he thought she moved. He commended himself for thinking of that one; he could only imagine what kind of punishment Riza would give him, whatever it was he was eager to find out.

"I guess you're right." She replied in a seductive tone. His smirk turned into a full blown shit-eating grin as he heard her clambering around the bedroom and through drawers. What could she be looking for, did she have some own tricks up her sleeve that he hadn't seen yet? Truthfully he was missing her attentions from earlier but he was sure whenever she finished what she was doing it would be worth it. He heard a zipper going up, strange, was she putting on an outfit for him, role-play? He was salivating over all the things she could be dressing up as; he just hoped the ensemble included a mini-skirt. He felt the waft of air as she walked past him; she was probably coming to take his blindfold off right now.

"Hayate, come here." He heard the dog barking as it padded into the room.

She was calling her dog? That was an interesting twist. "R-Riza, what are you doing?"

"I'm taking Hayate for a walk, and perhaps I'll run a few errands as well. Don't worry I won't be longer than a couple of hours."

 _What_. "Are you leaving now? Are you going to you know, remove the handcuffs and the blindfold?"

"Don't worry, I'll finish with you when I get back so you can just sit tight and think about how you failed to obey my orders."

Before he could respond he heard the door click, leaving him alone, immobile, sightless, and sorely unfinished.


	7. Not While I'm Studying

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot!
> 
> Have some young royai.

"Roy, stop staring at me."

"I'm not staring at you, I'm admiring you."

Riza gave him a quick glance before she went back to staring at the words in her book. She was lying down on the sofa trying to study but of course, Roy was being distracting. "Admiring me studying? I'm sure."

"I have always been fond of intellectual girls." Roy said with a smirk, to which Riza acknowledged by rolling her eyes.

"Shouldn't you be studying?" Riza decided to entertain the conversation for a little while.

"You know your father was too sick to go through with this week's lessons so he cancelled them." Roy said as he got up and moved towards her.

"I know, but shouldn't you be studying anyways, perhaps maybe try and get ahead? I'm sure father told you the same thing." Riza eyed his movements cautiously.

"It's much more fun to bother you than study." Roy said plainly.

"Roy, please leave me alone." Riza said, trying to end the conversation.

Roy replied with a poke to her side, but she didn't even flinch. "What, Riza, are you not ticklish?"

Riza didn't reply, trying to zone him out completely.

"Riiiza! Answer me!" He started poking her more, but it was nothing but a minor nuisance to Riza. Just then, Roy had an idea. He climbed onto the sofa and laid himself down right on top of Riza, squishing her completely.

"Roy! What are doing? Get off me!"

Roy nestled himself onto her further and he laid his arms against her neck, and his head against his arms. "But Riizaaa... Hey you're pretty soft."

Riza huffed loudly as she elbowed him in the side in an attempt to shove him off. Instead she hurt her elbow, since when did he have such toned muscles? He did feel quite heavy. "Roy, you're cutting off my circulation, go away!"

"Only if you say pleeease." Roy purred, snuggling into her body, making himself more comfortable.

Riza was fuming, she decided yelling was futile and she refused to give him the satisfaction of giving in to his demands. Since her elbow wasn't going to cut it she decided to inch her leg from underneath Roy's and position it between his legs instead. She only had once chance at this; with one fell swoop she kicked her leg up, nailing him exactly where it hurt the most.

The sound that emitted from Roy's mouth was some sort of hybrid between a squeal and screech. He slid off of Riza's back and onto the floor with a loud thud, holding onto his nether regions while still trying to put together in his head what just happened.

"See Roy, this is what happens when you don't listen to me. Please don't bother me while I'm studying."

All Roy could do was slowly nod then crawl away on all fours.


	8. Not For a Bet

"Hey boss, guess what?" Havoc said and he strolled into the office.

"I don't care. You seem to be slacking off a lot for someone who just got back to the office." Roy answered without even looking up from his paperwork.

"Wow, I've never seen you of all people so deep into their paperwork."

"Now that I'm a general I've been trying to take my duties a bit more seriously. I can't afford to slack off these days."

"Yeah yeah, well I just wanted to tell you that I got an extra month of vacation time due to my injury."

Roy finally looked up from his paperwork. "You're perfectly fine though."

"I know, but it's just a precaution."

"So, you've come to rub it in my face then? I don't need the vacation time; I'm invested into my work."

"Sir, you've been working non-stop since you got promoted, surely everyone needs a vacation every now and then."

"What exactly are you getting at?"

"Let's say I sign over my extra month of vacation to you."

"What am I going to do with two months of vacation days? I haven't used my own."

"Let me finish. Suppose you sign over that month to Hawkeye, since she's used hers. Then you both can take an entire one month vacation off together."

Roy put his pen down and looked him in the eye, "There must be a catch."

"How about we put it to a bet? You win, you get the vacation time, and if you lose I get your month."

"That's tempting, what kind of bet are we talking here?"

"Since you and Hawkeye are officially a thing now, I think I got a good one."

Roy gestured for him to continue.

"No sex for 24 hours."

Roy tensed up enough for Havoc to notice. "How are we supposed to keep track of that?"

"Well for the next five or so hours in the office I can keep track of you but any time afterwards I suppose you have to vow to be truthful, no matter how good of a liar I know you are."

"I suppose I can keep that promise, you don't need to worry about anything happening anytime soon though. Riza would never try to do anything while we're still at work."

"Oh, that's a shame. It really is quite an adrenaline rush doing it in public places where you could possibly get caught." Havoc said while a sly smile on his face.

"Please, I'd rather not know what exactly has happened between you and your girlfriend at work. " Roy said as he cringed at the thought that they could be stowed away in a broom closet he has walked by.

"Alright alright I'll spare you."

"I'm assuming that I'm not allowed to tell her about the bet?"

"That would be considered cheating, so you'd have to completely ignore any advances made upon you."

"In that case, I think I've already won Havoc."

"Whatever you say boss," He held his hand out for him to shake. "Deal?"

"Deal."

* * *

"So, did you get him to agree?" Rebecca asked her boyfriend.

"He totally fell for it. Now I hope your little plan works, I'm having a hard time believing that you're going to get your side of the bet accomplished."

"Relax, Riza is my best friend. I can convince her to do anything if I really tried."

"I seriously doubt that, but good luck." Havoc said as Rebecca walked away to finish up the master plan they had thought up.

* * *

Rebecca walked into the shooting range to catch Riza putting away her guns. "Yoohoo, Riza! Over here!"

Riza caught sight of her friend and walked over. "Oh Rebecca, are you here to practice? I actually just finished."

"Actually I'm down here because I just overheard some juicy gossip."

"Really Rebecca? This can't wait until after work?"

"No it can't! Anyways, I overheard Mustang and Jean making a bet that Mustang could go without sex for 24 hours."

Riza tried to hide the faintest hint of a smile learning that Mustang even considered agreeing to that bet. The man's libido was almost uncontrollable at times (but if she really didn't want to he would always respect her decision, with a bit of moping). "Why does this concern me?"

"Riza come to my locker for a second." Rebecca motioned for her to follow. When they reached the opened it and pulled out a shiny new gun. "This Riza, is the very latest model of the military-issued handgun, except they haven't upgraded ours yet and they probably won't for a while."

Riza eyed the gun carefully, definitely much better quality than any of the ones she owned. "Where did you get that?"

"Jean got it for me and it is pretty amazing. I haven't used it as much as I could've though, since my job doesn't require as much active duty as yours Riza." She put the gun in Riza's hand. "Wouldn't this be much better suited to the best sharpshooter in the military?"

"Something tells me that you're not just going to give this to me."

"You catch on quickly." She took the gun back. "How about a bet, you win and you get to keep the gun."

"What kind of bet?" Riza asked cautiously. She wasn't the type to participate in a bet usually, but she couldn't back down from this before she knew what Rebecca was going to propose.

"I told you about the bet between Mustang and Havoc, all you have to do is get Mustang to lose within the next five hours we're at work and the gun is yours."

Riza thought about the bet and immediately discovered a flaw. "Rebecca, what you're trying to say is that I need to get Roy to have sex with me at work? That's not going to happen."

"Relax Riza, that's not exactly what I meant. You don't have to have sex with him here, all you have to do is get him to agree to have sex with you and it's your win."

"That's still rather lewd; I would have to seduce him."

"Come on, you always tell me his sex drive is almost as big as his ego."

"I've never said that."

"I'm sure you've implied it at some point. Riza, if you had this new gun think about how much more efficient bodyguard you will be, protecting Mustang with less rebound and higher muzzle velocity." She took the gun and waved it around in her face. "There's nothing to lose."

"What if I just lied to you?"

"Here." She pulled a tape recorder from her locked and shoved it into her hands. "Just record everything on this so you have proof." She held out her hand to shake. "Deal?"

Even if she couldn't go through with it there was still nothing to lose from agreeing, also Rebecca seemed to think that there was no way she would able to do it and that ignited her fighting spirit. "Deal."

She already knew she would be regretting this by the end of the day.

* * *

There was only one hour left until the work day was over and Havoc was getting worried. "Rebecca, you said you were sure that Hawkeye would be able to crack Mustang in less than five hours."

"Quit worrying Jean there's still an hour left."

"This plan of yours better work. You said this was a sure-fire way to get two months off work."

"It is! There's no way Mustang has that much will power to keep ignore Riza's advances."

"You act like you know him inside out. When he's determined to do something it's not like him to back down."

"It is if Riza's involved—"

"What are you two talking about?" An eerily deep voiced boomed from behind them.

"H-hey boss. How long have you been standing there?"

"I just got here to witness you two slacking off instead of working, go do something useful." Mustang said before walking ahead swiftly.

"Oh my god, that was close Jean! How did you not even notice him coming?" Rebecca said angrily.

"Shh, don't worry. I don't think he heard our conversation."

Roy had heard everything though. _Those bastards, they don't think I have enough will power?_

_I'll show them._

* * *

There was only an hour left before everyone was free to leave and she still hadn't elected to follow through with the bet. She had been keeping herself busy but it was always in the back of her mind. She really wanted to win the bet though, partly because of the way Rebecca had asked her. _She thinks I won't be able to do it._

She couldn't just plainly ask him, it would just be weird and obvious. She had to entice him somehow and get him into a situation in which it would be impossible to refuse. She looked down at her bulky military uniform and decided she wasn't going to be able to entice anyone in this thing. She found herself going downstairs and looking for a familiar face hidden in the military library.

"Sheska, I need your help."

Startled she jumped and dropped the book she was reading to salute. "Captain! What do you need?"

"Give me your skirt and shoes." Riza said with the straight face.

"I—what?" Sheska stammered.

"That's an order."

"B-but... if you're planning on wearing them I'm not sure if they would fit, I mean, you're taller and... curvier."

Riza was getting just a bit irritated now. "Sheska please, just hand them over."

"Yes sir!"

There was a quick change around in which Sheska took Riza's pants and boots and Riza managed to get the skirt on.

"Thanks, I'll be back later to return your cloths." She took notice of the fact that since Sheska was shorter, the skirt was slightly shorter than military issued really allowed. She just had to avoid walking into anyone on the way back to the office. _Just an hour and you can take it off._

When she got back to her desk Mustang was not back yet so she took the time to straighten out her appearance in the most alluring way possible. She took off her jacket so that she was only wearing the black turtleneck underneath, and she took the clip out of her hair so it was down. She set up the tape recorder and put it underneath her desk. _Now, I just have to figure out a way to..._

It was then Mustang walked back into the office and noticed her appearance right away. "Captain, what happened to your uniform?"

"General! I spilled coffee on it and had to change... this was the only bottom that was available."

"Oh, okay. " He sat at his desk and started working on the newest pile of paperwork without even giving her a second glance.

_That's it?_ Perhaps it would take a bit more to crack him today, she had always expressed distaste when it came to any sort of advances at the office so he was probably just respecting the fact that she wasn't comfortable with anything happening, so she probably had to make it a bit clearer. She purposefully knocked a couple papers off her desk and got up to pick them up.

"Oh, do you need help with those?" Roy asked when he saw her getting up.

"No no, I got it." She made sure her backside was facing him as she bent over in the most provocative way possible to pick them up. As she popped her head back up and around she noticed that Mustang hadn't even been looking her way. She dejectedly walked back to her desk _. That was probably too cliché, but what else could I do short of throwing myself on top of him?_

" _Roy._ " She purred, her voice coming out rough and husky. She could see the slight surprise on his face, the hardly ever use first names at work.

"Yes, Riza?"

"Do you need a hand with your work? I've just finished all of mine." She continued with the same voice, trying to throw hints his way with the way she eyed him.

"Actually, I should be able to get all of this done before work is over. If you have no more left you can go home early." Roy said as he refocused on his paperwork, completely ignoring her bedroom eyes.

"N-no." She said, taken aback by his comment. There was no way she could leave before she won this bet. "I'll wait until you're finished, then we can walk home together."

"Suit yourself."

She couldn't just sit there and do nothing until work ended so she instinctively pulled out her gun cleaning set and started dismantling her gun, her apparently _outdated_ gun. She still couldn't wrap her head around the fact they Roy hadn't even been fazed by any of her advances. She had to crank it up another notch somehow. "General" She drawled. "Do you know how to clean a gun?"

"I haven't cleaned one since the academy, so I can't say I'm an expert."

She picked up her kit and walked over to her superior's desk and set it down. She leaned over so that her face was only a few centimetres away from his. "I could teach you." She heard him swallow hard and took it as a sign that she was finally breaking through.

"Captain, do you think now is the best time for a gun cleaning lesson?"

"Don't worry; you can still sign your papers while I go over it."

"A-alright then..."

He took the bait, now to go in for the kill. "Well first you make sure that your gun is unloaded. It wouldn't be the best scenario if it went off in the middle of cleaning." The sexy tone she was using sounded so phony she wanted to throw up. This behavior was so foreign to her but she had to keep it up if she wanted to win the bet. "Then you disassemble it enough to clean."

"Mhm." He mumbled as he was more into the papers in front of him instead of her lesson.

She placed her fingers on this chin and tilted his face up so that he would look in her direction. "The most important part is cleaning the barrel; you might want to pay attention for this."

"Riza are you-"

She silenced him with a finger on his lips. "Just listen for a minute, alright?" She picked up the barrel. "See, you have to soak this patch in solvent and put it on the end of the rod first. Then you just stick it right up the barrel. You just move it up and down gently to clean away the residue." She saw him sweating as she moved the rod in a suggestive motion and she couldn't help but smirk to herself. She popped the cleaning patch off the top of the barrel. "You can also use the bore brush if you really want to penetrate all the dirt. You use it the same way as the patches, just move it up and down the barrel with just enough pressure." She offered it to him. "Do you want to give it a try?"

He put his hands up to stop her. "N-no, I'm good."

"Alright, then you can do the lubrication."

"Excuse me?"

"Lubricating the barrel is the next step. I thought you said you had done this before, you seem kind of inexperienced."

"...I told you it's been a while."

"Then it's a good thing I'm giving you a refresher. Now, where did I put my lubricant?" She had promised herself earlier not to do this, but work was almost over and she decided to take drastic measures. She got up to go look for the lubricant in her desk but instead she walked into the side of Roy's desk and practically threw herself onto his lap. She landed a bit awkwardly but she was able to stretch the skirt out enough so that her legs were on either side of his and her hips were aligned with his. "Hmn, Roy..." He looked the most flustered than he had all afternoon.

"Riza, _please_ get off me."

"But Roy, you usually like it when I'm on your lap, don't you? How about we do things in the office we're not supposed to, just this once? I still have those handcuffs in my drawer in you're interested."

Roy looked like he was having an existential crisis. She kissed him on the cheek and he looked like he had finally reached his breaking point. Just when she had thought she had won Roy gently shoved her off his lap and leaped out of his chair.

"Roy, where are you going?"

"The paperwork is done enough, the work day is over, and I'm going home." He hurriedly put on his jacket.

She caught a glimpse of his face as he was leaving. "General, are you crying?"

"Don't be silly, that's just the rain." He said as he slammed the door shut behind him, leaving Riza speechless.


End file.
